{"id":13485,"date":"2019-05-01T14:18:33","date_gmt":"2019-05-01T12:18:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/?p=13485"},"modified":"2019-05-01T14:23:17","modified_gmt":"2019-05-01T12:23:17","slug":"de25-lustige-dinge-die-mir-meine-mutter-beigebracht-haten25-funny-things-my-mother-taught-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/archives\/13485\/de25-lustige-dinge-die-mir-meine-mutter-beigebracht-haten25-funny-things-my-mother-taught-me\/","title":{"rendered":"25 Funny things my mother taught me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Found at Wattpad.com, post\u00aded by brownielover1<\/a><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. My moth\u00ader taught me TO<\/span> APPRECIATE<\/span> A JOB<\/span> WELL<\/span> DONE<\/span>.
    \n\u201cIf you\u2019re going to kill each oth\u00ader, do it out\u00adside. I just fin\u00adished cleaning.\u201d<\/li>\n
  2. My moth\u00ader taught me RELIGION<\/span>.
    \n\u201cYou bet\u00adter pray that will come out of the carpet.\u201d<\/li>\n
  3. My moth\u00ader taught me about TIME<\/span> TRAVEL<\/span>.
    \n\u201cIf you don\u2019t straight\u00aden up, I\u2019m going to knock you into the mid\u00addle of next week!\u201d<\/li>\n
  4. My moth\u00ader taught me LOGIC<\/span>.
    \n\u201cBecause I said so, that\u2019s why.\u201d<\/li>\n
  5. My moth\u00ader taught me MORE<\/span> LOGIC<\/span>.
    \n\u2018If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you\u2019re not going to the store with me.\u201d<\/li>\n
  6. My moth\u00ader taught me FORESIGHT<\/span>.
    \n\u201cMake sure you wear clean under\u00adwear, in case you\u2019re in an accident.\u201d<\/li>\n
  7. My moth\u00ader taught me IRONY<\/span>.
    \n\u201cKeep cry\u00ading, and I\u2019ll give you some\u00adthing to cry about.\u201d<\/li>\n
  8. My moth\u00ader taught me about the sci\u00adence of OSMOSIS<\/span>.
    \n\u201cShut your mouth and eat your supper.\u201d<\/li>\n
  9. My moth\u00ader taught me about CONTORTIONISM<\/span>.
    \n\u201cWill you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!\u201d<\/li>\n
  10. My moth\u00ader taught me about STAMINA<\/span>.
    \n\u201cYou\u2019ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.\u201d<\/li>\n
  11. My moth\u00ader taught me about WEATHER<\/span>.
    \n\u201cThis room of yours looks as if a tor\u00adna\u00addo went through it.\u201d<\/li>\n
  12. My moth\u00ader taught me about HYPOCRISY<\/span>.
    \n\u201cIf I told you once, I\u2019ve told you a mil\u00adlion times. Don\u2019t exaggerate!\u201d<\/li>\n
  13. My moth\u00ader taught me the CIRCLE<\/span> OF<\/span> LIFE<\/span>.
    \n\u201cI brought you into this world, and I can take you out.\u201d<\/li>\n
  14. My moth\u00ader taught me about BEHAVIOUR<\/span> MODIFICATION<\/span>.
    \n\u201cStop act\u00ading like your father!\u201d<\/li>\n
  15. My moth\u00ader taught me about ENVY<\/span>.
    \n\u201cThere are mil\u00adlions of less for\u00adtu\u00adnate chil\u00addren in this world who don\u2019t have won\u00adder\u00adful par\u00adents like you do.\u201d<\/li>\n
  16. My moth\u00ader taught me about ANTICIPATION<\/span>.
    \n\u201cJust wait until we get home.\u201d<\/li>\n
  17. My moth\u00ader taught me about RECEIVING<\/span>.
    \n\u201cYou are going to get it when you get home!\u201d<\/li>\n
  18. My moth\u00ader taught me MEDICAL<\/span> SCIENCE<\/span>.
    \n\u201cIf you don\u2019t stop cross\u00ading your eyes, They are going to freeze that way.\u201d<\/li>\n
  19. My moth\u00ader taught me ESP<\/span>.
    \n\u201cPut your sweater on; don\u2019t you think I know when you are cold?\u201d<\/li>\n
  20. My moth\u00ader taught me HUMOUR<\/span>.
    \n\u201cWhen that lawn mow\u00ader cuts off your toes, don\u2019t come run\u00adning to me.\u201d<\/li>\n
  21. My moth\u00ader taught me HOW<\/span> TO<\/span> BECOME<\/span> AN<\/span> ADULT<\/span>.
    \n\u201cIf you don\u2019t eat your veg\u00adeta\u00adbles, you\u2019ll nev\u00ader grow up.\u201d<\/li>\n
  22. My moth\u00ader taught me GENETICS<\/span>.
    \n\u201cYou\u2019re just like your father.\u201d<\/li>\n
  23. My moth\u00ader taught me about my ROOTS<\/span>.
    \n\u201cShut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?\u201d<\/li>\n
  24. My moth\u00ader taught me WISDOM<\/span>.
    \n\u201cWhen you get to be my age, you\u2019ll understand.\u201d<\/li>\n
  25. And my favourite: my moth\u00ader taught me about JUSTICE<\/span>.
    \n\u201cOne day you\u2019ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Sor\u00adry, this entry is only avail\u00adable in Deutsch.<\/p>\n Con\u00adtin\u00adue reading \u2192<\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"iawp_total_views":11,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13485","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13485"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13485\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13491,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13485\/revisions\/13491"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}