{"id":13639,"date":"2021-01-08T20:27:36","date_gmt":"2021-01-08T18:27:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/?p=13639"},"modified":"2021-01-08T20:27:36","modified_gmt":"2021-01-08T18:27:36","slug":"debilly-connollys-desiderataenbilly-connollys-desiderata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/archives\/13639\/debilly-connollys-desiderataenbilly-connollys-desiderata\/","title":{"rendered":"Billy Connolly's Desiderata"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Tread gen\u00adtly on any\u00adone who looks at you sideways.<\/li>\n<li>Have lots of long lie-ins.<\/li>\n<li>Wear stur\u00addy socks, learn to grow out of medi\u00adum under\u00adwear and if you must lie about your age, do it in the oth\u00ader direc\u00adtion: tell peo\u00adple you're nine\u00adty-sev\u00aden and they'll think you look f****** great.<\/li>\n<li>Try to catch a trout and expe\u00adri\u00adence the glo\u00adri\u00adous feel\u00ading of let\u00adting it go and see\u00ading it swim\u00adming&nbsp;away.<\/li>\n<li>Nev\u00ader eat food that comes in a bucket.<\/li>\n<li>If you don't know how to med\u00adi\u00adtate at least try to spend some time every day just sit\u00adting. Boo jog\u00adgers. Don't work out, work&nbsp;in.<\/li>\n<li>Play the&nbsp;banjo.<br>\n<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.johns-jokes.com\/afiles\/images\/billy_connolly_05.jpg\" width=\"200px\"><\/li>\n<li>Sleep with some\u00adbody you&nbsp;like.<\/li>\n<li>Eat plen\u00adty of Liquorice Allsorts.<\/li>\n<li>Try to live in a place you&nbsp;like.<\/li>\n<li>Mar\u00adry some\u00adbody you&nbsp;like.<\/li>\n<li>Try to do a job you&nbsp;like.<\/li>\n<li>Nev\u00ader turn down an oppor\u00adtu\u00adni\u00adty to shout, 'F*** them all!' at the top of your&nbsp;voice.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid big\u00adots of all descriptions.<\/li>\n<li>Let your own bed become to you what the Pole Star was to sailors of old \u2026 look for\u00adward to&nbsp;it.<\/li>\n<li>Don't wear tight under\u00adwear on aeroplanes.<\/li>\n<li>Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? \u2026 He's a mile away and you've got his&nbsp;shoes.<\/li>\n<li>Clean your teeth and keep the com\u00adpa\u00adny of peo\u00adple who will tell you when there's spinach on&nbsp;them.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid peo\u00adple who say they know the answer and keep the com\u00adpa\u00adny of peo\u00adple who are try\u00ading to under\u00adstand the question.<\/li>\n<li>Don't pat ani\u00admals with sneaky eyes.<\/li>\n<li>If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11 a.m., start&nbsp;one.<\/li>\n<li>Learn to feel sor\u00adry for music because, although it is the inter\u00adna\u00adtion\u00adal lan\u00adguage, it has no swearwords.<\/li>\n<li>If you write a book, be sure it has exact\u00adly sev\u00aden\u00adty-six 'fuck's in&nbsp;it.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid giv\u00ading <span class=\"caps\">LSD<\/span> to guide&nbsp;dogs.<\/li>\n<li>Don't be talked into wear\u00ading a uni\u00adform and salute nobody.<\/li>\n<li>Nev\u00ader run with scis\u00adsors or oth\u00ader pointy objects.<\/li>\n<li>Cam\u00adpaign against blue Smarties.<\/li>\n<li>Above all, go to Glas\u00adgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea cours\u00ading over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say: 'It's good to be&nbsp;alive!'.&nbsp;\"<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tread gen\u00adtly on any\u00adone who looks at you side\u00adways. Have lots of long lie-ins. Wear stur\u00addy socks, learn to grow out of medi\u00adum under\u00adwear and if you must lie about your age, do it in the oth\u00ader direc\u00adtion: tell peo\u00adple <span class=\"excerpt-dots\">\u2026<\/span> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/archives\/13639\/debilly-connollys-desiderataenbilly-connollys-desiderata\/\"><span class=\"more-msg\">Con\u00adtin\u00adue reading&nbsp;\u2192<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"iawp_total_views":141,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13639"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13645,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13639\/revisions\/13645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}