Category: Fun

Wer wagt den Selbstcheck?

My def­i­n­i­tion of an ide­o­log­i­cal or reli­gios fun­da­men­tal­ist (or the one of Thomas Binder)
(1 out of 5 cri­te­ria is enough):

  1. Who sees his “truth” as the absolute and only one pos­si­ble and right.
  2. Who sees mem­bers of his “group” as a pri­ori bet­ter peo­ple than mem­bers of oth­er “groups”.
  3. Who accepts a sig­nif­i­cant restric­tion of the free­dom of oth­ers for win­ning his own freedom.
  4. Who wants to put laws giv­en by his leader / prophet / “God” over the (human made) legal laws.
  5. Who can’t (also) laugh about him­self and about his leader / prophet / “God”.

Source: Thomas Binder on Face­book

Nicht schlecht, aber…

Q1. In what bat­tle did Napoleon die?
A. his last battle.

Q2. Where was the dec­la­ra­tion of inde­pen­dence signed?
A. at the bot­tom of the page.

Q3. Riv­er Ravi flows in what state?
A. liq­uid.

Q4. What is the main rea­son for divorce?
A. mar­riage.

Q5. What is the main rea­son for failure?
A. exams.

Q6. What can you nev­er eat for breakfast?
A. lunch or dinner.

Q7. What looks like half of an apple?
A. the oth­er half.

Q8. If you dip a red stone into the blue sea, what will it become?
A. wet.

Q9. How can a man go 8 days with­out sleeping?
A. no prob­lem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an ele­phant with only one hand?
A. you will nev­er find an ele­phant with only one hand.

Q11. If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand, and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the oth­er hand, what would you have?
A. very big hands.

Q12. If it took 8 men 10 hours to build a wall, how long would it take 4 men to build it?
A. no time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can you drop a raw egg on a con­crete floor with­out crack­ing it?
A. Any way you want, con­crete floors are very hard to crack!

This “test” has made the tour of the inter­net, e.g. here or here.

Die besten Eheberater kommen aus der Primarschule

 

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

  • You got to find some­body who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
    — Alan, age 10
  • No per­son real­ly decides before they grow up who they’re going to mar­ry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out lat­er who you’re stuck with.
    — Kirsten, age 10

Con­tin­ue read­ing Die besten Ehe­ber­ater kom­men aus der Primarschule

Ein Mann hat drei Freundinnen

A man is dat­ing three women and wants to decide which to mar­ry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watch­es to see what she does with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fan­cy beau­ty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys sev­er­al new out­fits and dress­es up very nice­ly for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attrac­tive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The sec­ond goes shop­ping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new giz­mos for his com­put­er, and some expen­sive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the mon­ey on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the mon­ey in the stock mar­ket. She earns sev­er­al times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and rein­vests the remain­der in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obvi­ous­ly, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the mon­ey, and then he mar­ried the one with the largest breasts.

This sto­ry can be found on numer­ous sites on the web. I have no idea who the author is.

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