Category: Wetellyou

Three-step process for personal behavioural change

I want to briefly describe a process that I suc­cess­ful­ly applied to myself on sev­er­al occa­sions when I want­ed to change a dis­turb­ing behav­ior of myself. I devel­oped a three-step process for this purpose.

Prin­ci­ple: You are not your reac­tion. If peo­ple hurt you and you react hurt­ing them, then this is first and fore­most a reac­tion to your own injury. We do not actu­al­ly mean the per­son we are fac­ing, but real­ly only want to defend our­selves. There­fore: You are not your reac­tion. Your reac­tion is learned behav­ior. There are oth­er pos­si­bil­i­ties than to com­pen­sate in this way. These only have to be learned.

Con­tin­ue read­ing Three-step process for per­son­al behav­iour­al change

Frieden bedingt Liebe

Who does­n’t live in piece with him­self can’t love — who loves, can’t quarrel.
We need to fight for love and about love. Who mis­takes fight­ing with quar­rel­ing won’t find love and peace.

As long as there is quar­rel­ing about love in this world, there can’t be no piece.
With­out love, the human being is emp­ty. Emp­ty peo­ple quar­rel. Fill peo­ple with love, then you don’t have to wor­ry about peace anymore!

– Fredy Kradolfer; www.friedensjournalismus.ch

Wer wagt den Selbstcheck?

My def­i­n­i­tion of an ide­o­log­i­cal or reli­gios fun­da­men­tal­ist (or the one of Thomas Binder)
(1 out of 5 cri­te­ria is enough):

  1. Who sees his “truth” as the absolute and only one pos­si­ble and right.
  2. Who sees mem­bers of his “group” as a pri­ori bet­ter peo­ple than mem­bers of oth­er “groups”.
  3. Who accepts a sig­nif­i­cant restric­tion of the free­dom of oth­ers for win­ning his own freedom.
  4. Who wants to put laws giv­en by his leader / prophet / “God” over the (human made) legal laws.
  5. Who can’t (also) laugh about him­self and about his leader / prophet / “God”.

Source: Thomas Binder on Face­book

Der Bergstrom

Ein Märchen.

Auf einem Felsen mit­ten im Bergstrom saß ich und ließ meine Füße hin­ab­baumeln, dass sie fast die Ober­fläche der hüpfend­en, kreisel­nden Wass­er berührten. Hier und da flog mir ein neugieriges Wellchen auf die Schuh­spitze, ließ sich von dem Son­nen­strahl küssen und ent­floh dann — wie ein schüchternes Mäd­chen — wieder in die Tiefe.

Was aber das Schön­ste war, davon sah und hörte son­st nie­mand etwas — und das war die Unter­hal­tung, die die Fluten des Bergstroms mit meinen Schuh­sohlen pflogen.

“Wer seid ihr?” fragten die Schuh­sohlen; denn sie waren weit­gereist und eifrig bestrebt, sich zu bilden.

“Trä­nen!” rief eine kleine Welle, über­schlug sich — und fort war sie.

Con­tin­ue read­ing Der Bergstrom

Susan Cain: Die Macht der Introvertierten

Susan Caine is an amer­i­can writer and author of the book Qui­et: The Pow­er of Intro­verts in a World That Can’t Stop Talk­ing. She has a home­page, on which she pub­lished a Man­i­festo about the val­ue of intro­verts in this world. I have trans­lat­ed and pub­lished her Man­i­festo into ger­man, here.

Con­tin­ue read­ing Susan Cain: Die Macht der Introvertierten

Two Babies Talking in the Womb

The source of this text about two twins, a skep­tic and an opti­mist, is Pablo J.Luis Molinero, and it is in his book “Mor­phogeny”.

Two fetus­es talk to each oth­er in the womb. One is a believ­er and the oth­er is not.

Athe­ist baby: And you? Do you believe in life after birth?
Believ­ing baby: Sure. It is obvi­ous that there is life after birth. And we are here pre­cise­ly so we can get strong and ready for what awaits us after that.
AB: It makes no sense. There is noth­ing after birth. Can you imag­ine what life after birth might look like?
BB: Well, I don’t know all the details. But over there, there will be plen­ty of light, plen­ty of joy. And, for exam­ple, we are going to eat with our mouths over there.
AB: What non­sense! We have our umbil­i­cal cord that feeds us. And yet, no one has returned from that oth­er life. By birth, life is sim­ply ended.
BB: No! I don’t exact­ly know what life after birth is like, but we will def­i­nite­ly see our moth­er and she will take care of us.
AB: Moth­er? Do you believe in moth­er?? And where is she?
BB: But she’s every­where! She sur­rounds us! Thanks to her we live,and with­out her we are noth­ing. She takes care of us at every moment.
AB: This is absurd! Have you ever seen her? Me nei­ther! So she obvi­ous­ly does not exist. And if she does exist, why does­n’t she man­i­fest herself?
BB: Well, I do not agree. Because, sometimes,when every­thing is qui­et, then you can hear how she sings … feel how she caress­es our world … I am sure that our real life begins after birth.
AB: Well, I’m con­vinced that there is noth­ing after birth. That is all irrational.

Als ich mich selbst zu lieben begann

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emo­tion­al suf­fer­ing are only warn­ing signs that I was liv­ing against my own truth.

Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY“.

As I began to love myself I under­stood how much it can offend some­body as I try to force my desires on this per­son, even though I knew the time was not right and the per­son was not ready for it, and even though this per­son was me.

Today I call it “RESPECT“.

As I began to love myself I stopped crav­ing for a dif­fer­ent life, and I could see that every­thing that sur­round­ed me was invit­ing me to grow.

Today I call it “Matu­ri­ty“.

As I began to love myself I under­stood that at any cir­cum­stance, I am in the right place at the right time, and every­thing hap­pens at the exact­ly right moment, so I could be calm.

Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE“.

As I began to love myself I quit steel­ing my own time, and I stopped design­ing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and hap­pi­ness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.

Today I call it “SIMPLICITY“.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of any­thing that is no good for my health – food, peo­ple, things, sit­u­a­tions, and every­thing the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this atti­tude a healthy egoism.

Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF“.

As I began to love myself I quit try­ing to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.

Today I dis­cov­ered that is “MODESTY“.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on liv­ing in the past and wor­ry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.

Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT“.

As I began to love myself I rec­og­nized that my mind can dis­turb me and it can make me sick. But As I con­nect­ed it to my heart, my mind became a valu­able ally.

Today I call this con­nec­tion “WISDOM OF THE HEART“.

We no longer need to fear argu­ments, con­fronta­tions or any kind of prob­lems with our­selves or oth­ers. Even stars col­lide, and out of their crash­ing new worlds are born.

Today I know THAT IS “LIFE“!

by Charles Chap­lin, from a speech giv­en on his 70th birth­day, in 1959 Con­tin­ue read­ing Als ich mich selb­st zu lieben begann

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